Friday, September 12, 2014

Some cake will do just fine

I feel like cake.  Nice chocolate cake.

Right now, my body is tired.  Every part of me is screaming for some time alone to meditate, to nurture, to love myself.

I still got 2 weeks before both kids are in school, so that is not quite an option.  And damn am I finding it difficult to be present to my kids.  My kids who right now really really need me as school approaches and the anxiety is settling in.

I am irritable, short tempered and scary to myself so even more so to my little babes.

Today Greg's anger reached the point of no return and I let him scream and rage and cry.  He needed it.  And when that happened I found myself again.  The mother I am meant to be: calm and loving and understanding.

Tomorrow is a new day and my body will still be tired and pining away for my me time.  I am dreaming of retreating with yoga, chants, healthy food, massage and possibly even a good laugh with friends.  But tomorrow I will do my utmost to push it all on the back burner for a while longer.  Because I want my kids to go to school relaxed and happy and care free.

So tomorrow I will wake up and think of love filling every crevice of this house till it shines and outshines the rest of our village.  It will overflow and we will be happy and my kids will once more know they can start relax again, their mummy is back.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Some cake will do just fine

I feel like cake.  Nice chocolate cake.

Right now, my body is tired.  Every part of me is screaming for some time alone to meditate, to nurture, to love myself.

I still got 2 weeks before both kids are in school, so that is not quite an option.  And damn am I finding it difficult to be present to my kids.  My kids who right now really really need me as school approaches and the anxiety is settling in.

I am irritable, short tempered and scary to myself so even more so to my little babes.

Today Greg's anger reached the point of no return and I let him scream and rage and cry.  He needed it.  And when that happened I found myself again.  The mother I am meant to be: calm and loving and understanding.

Tomorrow is a new day and my body will still be tired and pining away for my me time.  I am dreaming of retreating with yoga, chants, healthy food, massage and possibly even a good laugh with friends.  But tomorrow I will do my utmost to push it all on the back burner for a while longer.  Because I want my kids to go to school relaxed and happy and care free.

So tomorrow I will wake up and think of love filling every crevice of this house till it shines and outshines the rest of our village.  It will overflow and we will be happy and my kids will once more know they can start relax again, their mummy is back.