guilty!

Here I am, a mum, that suddenly, her patience cracked and I started shouting and ranting and screaming at my child. A child who looked at me totally uncomprehending and finally dissolved into uncontrolable tears which in turn, evaporated my anger and filled me with guilt!

Guilt that instead of breathing to calm myself out as I know I should do in these situations, just let anger take over at a click simply coz my son was wriggly and I wanted to put his pjs on. My son who was actually starting to feel tired by than so was whiny. The one that smiles and hugs me as if there will be no other day.... but I was tired, we had a long day and I just wanted to relax and in the end I simply flipped.

I know I am not the first one and that it happens coz we are human! But I still wonder about that mama guilt for flipping.....guess there is only one reason for that guilt...we know that they can't help themselves and don't truly comprehend but we, we do! and whether we are tired or not, we are still their parents to take care of them and we should be emphatic and patient. But sometimes, we don't manage and so we have to deal with the guilt!

memorable moments

This is how Greg welcomed his daddy when he arrived home from work!

And before that, he climbed the sofa by himself and took this pose to watch TV :)

Its the weekend and the decorations are up, the presents wrapped and the crib in place..... Greg of course is trying to destroy all LOL!

The weather is horrible...raining and raining since yesterday. Though we did a lot of thijngs at home and felt happy one day is more than enough I guess and with pup trying to mantle down both Christmas tree and crib, looks like it will be a long day!

Looking forward to tonight, meeting some friends, enjoy some wine!

Letter to santa claus

Following mamakat's prompt this week, I was meant to write a letter to Father Christmas...however, didn't have the time and right now I am on a quick reprieve and thought of jotting down a few lines :) plus a quick letter!



Greg is much better but wants a lot my attention - hence no blogging!- was feeling quite tensed and my low on energy and impatient recently. Yesterday at yoga we tried a new posture upon my request and she said that it helps to get you sharp and energized. Anyhow, realised that the past week I didn't do yoga apart in a class so this afternoon on Greg's long nap of 2 hrs I did yoga and man it made such a difference....felt relaxed, calm and recharged again :) so yes I can reconfirm to myself that yoga does help!



So a letter to Santa Claus would have been something like this:



Hi,



It's Christmas again and really I don't need much.... but you know what I have been thinking? When me and Dave decide to try for a 2nd child, can you somehow make sure that this time its a girl? I don't know I didn't quite mind what it was first time round but now that I got my boy, I wish a beauty girl :) it would round my life perfectly! So Santa you know my wish and it doesnt cost you any money!!!



Melissa



What do you guys think of that huh?

wordless wednesday

colds here we go

Greg's runny nose turned out into a mild cold with a tiresome cough. Happily I was given a natural cough mixture (which he liked as not sweet!). Otherwise though he is in a very good mood...playing and running around and smiling, laughing, being mischievous. The only difference is that he ain't interested in eating a lot of food apart for breastmilk and he comes more for cuddles. That's ok....at ten months, he started doing a few steps now and then, says incessently 3 words and more when he feels like, started clapping and saying bye bye when he feels like and ya know he doesn't look like or feel like much of a baby anymore :( so having him coming for cuddles and milk well its comforting!

Character wise, Greg is showing independence and a strong will and is quite relaxed with other people. Social wise with other children, he's still not sure LOL, he kinda gets excited and looks at them, sometimes he tries to 'play' but most of the time he just prefers to play alone. I am actually happy he loves to play alone as it gives me more time to do the cooking, cleaning, blogging and anything else in between.

Anyhow, he is right now soundly asleep and hopefully he stays so all night...last night between coughing and a blocked nose he kept waking up and I felt quite a zombie today.

Have a good night all ya folks!

practice generosity

Here is an exerpt from a beautiful article on generosity by yoga journal. Go read the full article and feel inspired!

In one sense, generosity is natural: We can no more help giving than we can live without the support of everything we receive. Verses in the Vedas describe the generosity of the natural elements, the way the earth supports us without ever demanding thanks, the way the sun shines and the rain falls. The universe is, in fact, a web of giving and receiving; to grasp the truth of this, we need only to remember the eighth-grade science trip to the pond, or to think about the life of a city, with its symbiotic, mutually dependent networks of relationship.
But if our essence is naturally generous, the ego fears not having enough, worries about getting hurt or losing out, feels anxious at the thought of looking silly or getting ripped off, and above all, looks for a payoff. So for most of us, there's a continual push-pull between our natural generosity and genuine desire to share and the ego's feeling of lack and its desire to drive a bargain.